What's The Point?

My biological father offered to get me glasses from Coscto because "they have such great deals." Obviously, he doesn't read Wikapedia!!! Wrong, Dad!

So then, apparently, the eye "doctor" thought that I should get some contacts, but my dad did not agree. In the end, I have a 10 year supply of contact lenses. What's the point?

So, then he made me pick out the glasses, but it's not as easy as that. To get into Coscto you have to have a lifetime membership, but they just don't just hand those out to just anybody! Nope. So I had to wear this fake mustache and smoke a pipe just to match my Dad's Coscto card id photo. Plus I had to provde a mustache hair sample for DNA evidence. Luckily, my dad keeps his mustache trimmings in the car and with a Coscto 24 pack of Supergloo, and I was able to infiltrate the secret underground layer of the Coscto empire.

So then, I waited for my dad to sneak in through the airvents, and after 2 hours we were able to approach the eye glass display when the attendant went to the lady room.

So then, I really wanted to get some big fat rimmed emo glasses like all the cool kids wear, but nope, can't do that at Coscto. Every single pair of eye glasses has some sort of bling on them. "What's bling?" you ask? Bling is shiny things that make cheap stuff magically more expensive. On one of the eye glasses I counted twelve whole pieces of bling. What's The Point?

So, then, I had to get the cheapest pair of blinged eye glasses, but they only had them in half packs. But you can only buy the half packs in crates of seven. Great! Now I have 3.5 glasses. At least when everyone inexplicitedly dies and I am alone in a tv shoppe, I can watch television without having to cry "It's not fair." Get it? Twilight Zone reference? Look it up on the Internet.

So then after we get all that crap, my dad needs to get another forklift because he wants to get food for dinner. I guess my dad has never heard of a little place called Ethiopia. How greedy! What's The Point?

So then, while eating our 17 course meal, my Dad starts to question my lack of thanks for buying me all that stupid stuff. Well, Internet, it was the hardest acting of my life, but I was able to pretend to appeciate the gesture. Good thing that he doesn't know what an Internet cafe is or else I would never be able to vent my wonderfully insightful opinions to millions of daily Internet visitors. My dad's the type of guy who still subscribes to email through the post office. What's The Point?

See you in Cyber Space!