Concert Review

I just saw Clutch, one of my favorite bands, put on an amazing show. Despite playing at a venue which is renown for having the worst sound in town, the sound was pretty damn amazing. I don't know if it was the sound guy or just Niel Fallon's booming voice, but somehow everything worked out well; everything, except for the audience.

I've come to expect horrible people at certain concerts; especially at Tool concerts, where some of the world's dumbest humans go to find mates. I was really surprised, though, to find that the homoretardus genus also used Clutch's music to perform their mating dance of running into a crowd of people who have their backs turned because they're trying to enjoy a show that they paid good money to see, god damnit.

Elza claimed to have witnessed three fights and he is a man of his word. What the fuck? There were tons of tiny angry men at this show. The kind of tiny angry men that are as wide as they are tall. The kind of tiny men that stare at the mirror in an orgasmic trance as they do reps at the gym. Not that there is anything wrong with that, tiny angry man who stumbled on this blog by accident. Everyone is really impressed at your ability to knock people over when you come up from behind them like a tiny battering ram. This is the yahoo search result you were looking for. Thanks for stopping by.

So, besides the fact that idiots exist, I am very satisfied with my musical entertainment of the evening.

Isis/Tool Concert

We got to the concert pretty early and heard Tool playing during their sound check. They played a couple songs: Stinkfist, 10,000 Days, Sober and (my favorite) the guitar solo for Jambi without any other instrumentation.

We were let in about two hours later, but were not allowed to enter the lawn area, so it was pretty odd. Isis started playing while we were in the new line that formed for getting into the lawn area. I was really upset because while Isis was playing, they still didn't let us on the lawn. It ended up being a sound check, but it didn't sound like it because they were playing full songs.

We were allowed on the grass after Isis stopped the sound check. We were some of the first people let in, so we thought it would be a good idea to stand front and center. "Mistaaaake!"

Isis played an hour later and it was amazing. I think they played 6 songs, but I only remember 5. It was about 40 minutes so they probably did only play 5 since their songs are so long.

So Did We
Dulcinea
Backlit (my favorite)
10,000 Shards
Holy Tears

Then we waited for tool to play and it started getting crowded. The lawn was completely packed with people and we made the mistake of staying front and center instead getting as far to the back of the crowd as possible.

When Tool started playing the idiots in the crowd around us became so annoying that I could barely focus on the music. The second song was The Pot and Maynard got hit in the head with a bottle within the first 1-2 minutes. After being dazed for a second he threw down the mic and walked off stage leaving us with an instrumental version. Then he came back out and stood silently while the band played an instrumental version of 46&2 and he finally sang the last verse.

Before their encore they sat and stared at the audience while almost everyone in the crowd held up a lighter. It was very amazing to see, but when they were playing 10,000 days, I smelled something like burning hair or plastic. I looked over and 100 feet away there was a group of retarded monkeys dancing around a garbage bonfire.

I've played enough Postal (the video game) to know that when a stupid person catches fire he will run towards two people, and they'll run towards two people and so on and so forth. Plus, it was so crowded that it would be hard to not catch on fire, so instead of enjoying the music, we had to retreat to a less crowded spot on the other side of the lawn.

In summation Isis was fucking awesome and Tool might have been more enjoyable if we had some metal chairs to keep the typical Tool fans a safe distance away.