Galactic Center of Milky Way Rises; And this blog sets

Galactic Center of Milky Way Rises over Texas Star Party from William Castleman on Vimeo.

Up Yours, Butters

I've been on a South Park kick lately. I regret getting rid of my South Park collection, but I'm glad that all the episodes are available for watching at SouthParkStudios.com.

There's been lots of great shows that I've missed. I recently enjoyed Canada on Strike where in Canada goes on strike and demands some of that Internet money.

I just downloaded this sample to my phone from this web site. I really want to play it on my phone's (excellent) speakers in a public bathroom when someone is fumigating for humans.



Also, here's some downloadable South Park commentary tracks for some reason.

Juno

If you've made the horrible mistake of watching the movie Juno, then you should read this.

Update:
I had to respond to Milkman Dan's comments in this post because I really want to embed this hilarious video that he linked.



Juno is worth watching if you're a Michael Cera fan, but he doesn't have a huge role in the film. I would guess that he is in the movie only fifteen percent of the time, but he provides more than fifty percent of the funny. That math doesn't lie.

The problem with Juno is that the dialogue is so pretentious that it's distracting. The main character has all these contrivances that she makes an effort to display, yet act casual about. A good example is the famous hamburger phone scene, where she casually brings up the fact that she's using a novelty phone while scheduling an abortion. How wacky! It's not that my belief is suspended, because I'm sure there are more pretentious people than her in existence, but it's god damn annoying. I wouldn't want to spend more than an hour watching them without Michael Nelson providing commentary.

The deciding factor on how many stars to give this movie was the terrible music. This movie suffers from the same problem as The Darjeeling Unlimited. It unrelentingly assaults the viewer with horrible music. The movie plays multiple, full-track songs from horrible indie bands and edits the scenes to be longer so as to torture impress the audience with how indie it is. When you watch this movie, you're going to want a mute button handy.

Future Theater of Scientific Mysteries

One of my favorite shows in the history of the televisual universe is Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you are also a huge nerd, then you will be pleasantly surprised to find that even after Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo returned to earth many years ago, they are still subjecting themselves to audio/visual torment (spiritually, at least).

The most exciting of these new projects is RiffTrax. RiffTrax features Michael J. Nelson, the head writer of MST3K, as well as many different guests who join Nelson in creating entertaining commentary tracks for some new DVD releases. All you have to do is download the mp3 and use your own home stereo (or with the RiffTrax Player) to Sync the audio with the movie, much like watching The Dark Side of Oz.

Raise your hand if you've already checked out some sweet RiffTrax action and, if so, what was your favorite episode? My favorite, so far, was Roadhouse. Nat and I have also watched Transformers, The Lord of the Rings, The Fifth Element, Firewall, Casino Royale, Point Break, Fantastic Four and Mike Willey's Chocolate Factory. All of them were equally funny. We fell asleep while watching Star Trek V and 300, so I am unable recommend them. We are currently set to watch Glitter, Triple Ex, The Mattress, and Night of the Living Dead when we find the time.

Another MST3K spin-off project is Cinematic Titanic. Cinematic Titanic features five former MST3K veterans. They have their first movie available to download as of today, but I haven't watched it yet. I have high expectations.

The Film Krew is another way to get some Mystery Science action. I think I've only watched one Film Krew movie from start to finish. It was Hollywood After Dark and it features a stripper from The Golden Girls. Hot!

Mike Nelson also recorded commentary tracks for some old movies released on DVD such as Plan 9 From Outer Space, House on Haunted Hill, Night of the Living Dead, and Carnival of Souls. My favorite of these is the colorized Reefer Madness, which is funny even without the commentary track.

While I'm at it, I might as well add that Mike Nelson has also written several books. I have them all, but I have only read the picture books: Happy Kitty Bunny Pony, Love Sick and Goth-Icky. Nat has read his two novels Mike Nelson's Mind over Matters, Mike Nelson's Death Rat! as well as Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese.

All of this comedy greatness has inspired me to create my own commentaries for some of my favorite bad movies. I'll let you know when the project is complete. Of course, it will be free to download and enjoy via the magic of the Interwebs and it will be the cherry on top of my extensive comedy portfolio (which exists only in my mind). If you're reading this, Michael J. Nelson, I look forward to working with you soon I have told you nothing that you didn't already know.

from left to right: Crow T. Robot, Bill Corbett, Michael J. Nelson, Tom Servo, Kevin Murphy

Horrible People

Horrible People is another great show from MyDamnChannel.com. It's a comedy soap opera featuring actors, writing, and music that you would see in a normal day time drama.



It's written by A.D. Miles (Crystal Shyps) and features many funny comedians and a couple of actors as well. It seems like there must be a decent budget for these comedy shows. Well, maybe not because the first season seems like it is going to be about an hour long total. I hope there is a large enough market for this that they can keep making these types of shows. I still can't get any funding for my show. Please help get The Ryan Niemi Show off the ground by donating through paypal. Click here.

Wainy Days

I am a huge fan of The State and Stella, so I was very happy when I stumbled on Wainy Days, an internet show starring David Wain.



Also, I just watched The Ten, a movie directed by David Wain and it is pretty damn great. I couldn't understand why it only has a 3 star rating on Netflix, until I saw the very end of the movie. It's a perfect example of how not to end a movie. Now the ending of Wet Hot American Summer is how you end a movie.

Darkplace

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is one of the best shows ever made.

There is a rumor that Darkplace is being adapted into a film version. One can only hope.

You Suck It Photoshop

But that's OK because Donnie is here to help you.



The entire series is available at MyDamnChannel.com.

Interface Is Key

I enjoy watching the Angry Video Game Nerd, but I was tired of the constant age verification at Gametrailers.com, so I decided that I could easily register an account on their website, let Firefox remember the password so I can quickly sign in and not have to worry about verifying my birth date every time I watch a new video.

Unfortunately, even when I created an account, logged in, and entered my birth date in my profile, they still ask me to verify my age every single time I want to watch a new video. Even if I just watched a video five minutes ago. What is the purpose of that?

They have an option for continuous play, but it won't work if you don't verify your age at the start of every new video. So, If I want to continue watching AVGN, I need to keep click on the month that I was born and scroll down to December, then after that all that, I have to select the day and year. Really? I need to do this every 5-10 minutes? What was the purpose of you asking for my birth date in the first place, Gametrailers.com?

There is a way to fix Gametrailer.com's broken age verification system by using Firefox, installing the Greasemonkey addon with this Greasemonkey script. You also need to change your profile so that Quicktime is the default video player instead the industry standard.

So already, they have alienated a large percentage of possible viewers. Most people are going to rightfully tell Gametrailers.com to fuck right off and they will not return. Less than half will stick around and continue watching a couple more videos. A small percentage of die hard fans will subject themselves to undeserved punishment and an even smaller percentage will find a way around it. Great job, Gametrailers.com!

These instructions are available on the Gametrailers.com forums and they have yet to be removed. I'd like to think that Gametrailers.com is aware of this pathetic interface problem and is working on a change. The whole situation is so pathetic, that it deserves to be addressed by the Angry Video Game Nerd, himself.

So I emailed Gametrailers.com and let them know how I feel and I got this response:

Sorry, but it's a liability issue. We're required by the ESRB to
provide an age gate in front of all mature rated content that you must
bypass manually. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Fair enough. I can't begin to explain my hatred of the ESRB. It just really cheeses my goat that people are punished for the safety of precious children. I think it's about time we start making parents responsible for their children. I know that's a wild and crazy idea, but sometimes I'm two wild and crazy guys.

Battery Hacks

You may have heard of the many battery hacks on the internet. Basically, you can save money by opening a 9volt to get cheap AAA batteries or cracking open your dead laptop battery to bring it back to life.

Well now, there's the insane car battery hack:



Friendly hack!

Spider Science

You can't argue with science.


Effects Of Drugs And Alcohol On Spider Webs

Computer Man

Home Shopping Greatness

Here's a video of a Home Shopping Channel salesman getting injured on live TV.


Here he is again with an important message:
"Go in here, let the butterfly just fly in on that monkey."


Speaking of shopping at home, (I can't find the non-laughtrack version of this): Another video

Kilos of Fish

How many kilos of fish can one cat carry? 10 minutes of japanese
television has been dedicated to answering this question.

Red State Update

Red State Update comments on Al Gore The Movie.

Also:

Jackie and Dunlap have declared War! On Neil
Young! What can you do to help with the war
effort? Buy every Neil Young CD you can find,
just load up on 'em, even Arc, and send them
to:

Red State Update
PO Box 12181
Murfreesboro, TN 37129

When they get a mailbox full, Jackie and
Dunlap will burn 'em up, tape it, and put it on
the internet for you to enjoy.

And finally:
South Park's Al Gore The Movie

all the rest