You Suck It Photoshop

But that's OK because Donnie is here to help you.



The entire series is available at MyDamnChannel.com.

Gettin' Some Emails

Steve Writes:

You were telling me about how Thunderbird rocks. How do I set it?

Yes, Steve. I was telling you about how it's possible to get email on Internet.

Here's how!:

STEP 1. Doanload the Internet
Step 2. grab some files and put them in your computer
step 2 part a maek sure you have files
step 2 prt b look at all instructions on the interwebs for help
step 2 part c finish up all the lose ends

You're welcome steve.

Send all your questions to niemsta@gmail.com

Interface Is Key

I enjoy watching the Angry Video Game Nerd, but I was tired of the constant age verification at Gametrailers.com, so I decided that I could easily register an account on their website, let Firefox remember the password so I can quickly sign in and not have to worry about verifying my birth date every time I watch a new video.

Unfortunately, even when I created an account, logged in, and entered my birth date in my profile, they still ask me to verify my age every single time I want to watch a new video. Even if I just watched a video five minutes ago. What is the purpose of that?

They have an option for continuous play, but it won't work if you don't verify your age at the start of every new video. So, If I want to continue watching AVGN, I need to keep click on the month that I was born and scroll down to December, then after that all that, I have to select the day and year. Really? I need to do this every 5-10 minutes? What was the purpose of you asking for my birth date in the first place, Gametrailers.com?

There is a way to fix Gametrailer.com's broken age verification system by using Firefox, installing the Greasemonkey addon with this Greasemonkey script. You also need to change your profile so that Quicktime is the default video player instead the industry standard.

So already, they have alienated a large percentage of possible viewers. Most people are going to rightfully tell Gametrailers.com to fuck right off and they will not return. Less than half will stick around and continue watching a couple more videos. A small percentage of die hard fans will subject themselves to undeserved punishment and an even smaller percentage will find a way around it. Great job, Gametrailers.com!

These instructions are available on the Gametrailers.com forums and they have yet to be removed. I'd like to think that Gametrailers.com is aware of this pathetic interface problem and is working on a change. The whole situation is so pathetic, that it deserves to be addressed by the Angry Video Game Nerd, himself.

So I emailed Gametrailers.com and let them know how I feel and I got this response:

Sorry, but it's a liability issue. We're required by the ESRB to
provide an age gate in front of all mature rated content that you must
bypass manually. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Fair enough. I can't begin to explain my hatred of the ESRB. It just really cheeses my goat that people are punished for the safety of precious children. I think it's about time we start making parents responsible for their children. I know that's a wild and crazy idea, but sometimes I'm two wild and crazy guys.

The Donkey Kong Challenge

Mike Willey, founder of the Ape Liberation Front, has issued a challenge to me to defeat Donkey Kong. It seems that Mr. Willey has watched The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters and thinks that the task is impossible.

Ha! I beat Donkey Kongs for breakfast.

I accepted and completed the challenge a little while ago. It took longer than I thought, but it was no where near as challenging as portrayed in The King of Kong. I believe they made the game appear more difficult as to pad out the film. 79 minutes is far too long to spend on something that can be reviewed by the Angry Video Game Nerd in 5 minutes.

I now present you with video evidence of Donkey Kong's defeat:

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghosts I - IV

I never expected to hear about the brand new Nine Inch Nails album through an online comic strip, but that's what happened when I was checking Bunny Comics via Google Reader and tried to figure out the meaning of this:


At first, I was confused because I haven't heard of anything new about Mr. Reznor except that he is no longer chained to a major music label. So, I checked out his Interweb official home page and found out that he quietly released a 4 disc instrumental album. The best part is that he released it under a creative commons license. Disc 1 is officially available through thePirateBay for zero dollars money. The album is currently available as a download for five dollars money as well as other options for serious collectors. They sold the entire 2500 copies of the $300 Ultra-Deluxe Limited Edition Package within hours. I'm really interested to find out how much money Trent makes now that he controls the middle men.

I tried to buy the album post haste, but as the Bunny-Comic shows, the servers were hit hard and I was not able to give Trent my digital dollars. I grabbed the free Ghosts I torrent and was able to buy the album after patiently waiting for Mr. Reznor's internets to get turned back on.

I am currently listening to Ghosts I while the flac version of Ghosts I-IV is coming down the pipe. I'm getting blazing fast 13kbps internet-type download speeds on my 605.14mb download. It looks like I'll have to wait for a while before I can enjoy the entire piece.

Memento Mori

Sunday night is the most depressing time for me. There is something about the end of the weekend and the impending Mondays that just kills my Garfields.

So, here I am, reading through Google Reader, when I stumble on this article on Kotaku:
Portal vs Passage

The article isn't very interesting, but it made me want to play Passage since it is grouped in the Portal category. Unfortunately Passage doesn't really relate to Portal in anyway at all. The article just seems to be a clever ploy in which to draw Portal attention towards Passage.

I recommend that you take 2 minutes to download Passage and then spend 5 minutes playing it before reading further.

Passage fits into the Games as Art category. It's only a game in the sense that the best way to convey it's message is where the user has some control.

So after playing it once, I had to try it again. I didn't know that it was possible to move up and down. The second play through I went through the maze with the life partner. The maze is brutal. You can get stuck in some rut and by the time you finally escape, you've wasted a good portion of your life on nothing.

The artist's explanation of the game is worth a read.

Spoiler alert: You're going to die alone.

Video Games and Digital Nostalgia

I was watching Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with Charles and the conversation turned from cheesy 1980s television to cheesy 1980s video games.

We talked about the horrible games that get reviewed by the Angry Video Game Nerd like Ghostbusters and Jaws. Ghostbusters was one of the first games we rented when we begain our Nintendo adventure as children. Ghostbusters is also one of the most disappointing games that I ever played (I never owned an Atari, so I never played E.T.). I've never gotten past the part where you need to drive to the store to buy ghost busting equipment. Watching the Angry Video Game Nerd review the game, was painfully nostalgic for me. Especially because he actually found a part of the game that involved busting ghosts. Something that I have never seen.



The world of 8-bit Nintendo games was very dangerous for a child. When your parents took you to rent a video game, it was important that you study the box art carefully or else you could spend the next 3-5 days with Ghostbusters. A game where you drive to a store. You also needed to pay attention to friends and video game magazines because a game like Duck Tales may sound like a horrible game, but it was actually quite fun.

More entertaining Angry Video Game Nerd reviews are available at Gametrailers.com.